Dream

So, I have dreams that wake me up either crying or laughing. I don't talk in my sleep, but I cry and/or laugh, which then wakes me up.

This morning I had a very long dream about my aunt who passed away a few years ago. I was visiting her, and she was sick like she was at the end, with people looking after her and monitoring her vitals. But, she was still up and moving around, talking, being her vibrant self. My grandmother was there and kept chastizing her for being too active because she'd hurt herself or get too exhausted, and my aunt ended up making herself bleed from her side (which has nothing to do with what it was really like). Everyone rushed to take care of her, and I was sort of just a spectator. She fell over, and got up, and then went into another room.

She came back (maybe in a wheelchair?), and said that she and her friends had thought up this very important project that she wanted ME to continue when she was gone. I immediately got worried, and thought, oh my god, how am I going to do this with work and the new business, too? I asked her what it was. She wanted me to create profiles and descriptions of every charity and do-good organization, compile them, and create a catalog/directory, like a yellow pages. I think she called it a Hope Catalog. I thought it was a good idea, and I think I agreed to do it even though I had no clue how I was going to fit it into my schedule. Then she died. And I woke up crying. But not the usual no-tears dream crying, because I opened my eyes and tears spilled out and I cried on Ben for a long time, because I miss her and wish I could have spent time with her as an adult, and because the dream was very real and uncanny, especially with the sort of plea from the grave. And also maybe because of the stress of the new business, though I wasn't thinking about that consciously.

The good news is that the "Hope Catalog" already exists, but in online form. It's called the Charity Navigator, and I used it to find a charity to donate to as a wedding favor.