Dave Barry. Funny man.

So, I just discovered Dave Barry. I mean, I'd heard of him but now have quite an affinity for him.

Here's a taste. Both of these made me laugh. I may just throw some of these in randomly when I want to post but don't feel like talking about myself:

Published 1992, in the Miami Herald
DAVE BARRY
Once again it's time for the popular educational feature "Ask Mister Language Person,'' brought to you this week by Ray's House of Fine Adverbs. Remember Ray's motto: "Proudly Serving You, Eventually.''
Our first grammar question today comes from concerned reader Brian Cameron of Elora, Ontario, who writes: "Just what does it mean when someone says, 'But, by the same token'?''
A. In grammatical terminology, this is what is known as a "constipating conjunction.'' It is used to separate two statements that would sound stupid if they were right next to each other.
EXAMPLES:
-- "Unemployment will definitely decrease. But, by the same token, it could increase.''
-- "In 27 years of marriage, Todd never noticed Marie's tentacle. But, by the same token, he was a fine tennis player.''
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Q. In the song "The Joker,'' what is the mystery word that Steve Miller sings in the following verse:
"Some people call me the space cowboy
Some people call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
'cause I speak of the (SOMETHING) of love.''
A. According to the Broward County Public Library, the word is "pompatus.''
Q. What does "pompatus'' mean?
A. Nothing. Steve made it up. That's why some people call him "the space cowboy.''