The eyes of an editor

Literally, my eyes. I went to the optometrist (Is that the one who prescribes glasses? Yes, Answers.com says I am right.) this morning at 9, thinking I'd definitely be at work by 10. But every time I go I have forgotten all the steps involved in visiting him. And now, they have two more optional tests that I opted to do. So, I arrive early and walk around the block because they're not open yet. I get coffee and head back as the doctor is unlocking the door. I think his office is bizarre, because it's a fancy storefront in the West End of DC, and going to the doctor like I'm shopping in a boutique is strange. But, I guess that's how they do it in DC.

Anyway, when I arrive I have to go over the whole name change thing, which means I really haven't been there in a long time. And actually, I haven't been there since June 2004. After that, I no longer had vision insurance. As of three days ago, I became a member of VSP vision insurance, the mention of which got oohs and aahs from the staff and even the doctor. And I apparently really need this insurance.

First, a guy told me to take my contacts out. I had put them in specifically for this visit, because the last time I forgot to wear them and the doc was not pleased. I was confused, but then I was tested for glaucoma and did a field of vision test (passed!) where you look into a box at a dot on a screen and click a button when you see lines pop up in the periphery. I don't think she said "periphery," but whatever. Then I put my contacts back in. Then I took them out. Then the assistant took photos of my retinas. They came up digitally on the computer in front of her and the doctor went over them with me. There's your macula, there are the blood vessels, and this is where your optic nerve and blood vessels enter your skull. Awesome! Then I put my contacts IN again.

By this time, it's 9:30 and I am just entering the doctor's office. He checks to see how my vision is with the contacts, and we discover that my left eye, which had less of a problem previously, has now caught up with the right, meaning I now am nearsighted to the tune of a +1.5 prescription in each eye. Then I took my contacts out again. He did more tests with my face in the scary metal vise-looking thing. Which is clearer? One or Two? And so on. He looked in my eyes with a light, which I think is cool because I can see my blood vessels relfected in my eyes when the light is shining in.

I like to wear my star of David necklace when I go to a doctor that I know is Jewish, because they make fun comments about my being Jewish. Like today, when he said I was a smart Jewish girl and then asked if I'd always been Jewish because he doesn't know many Jewish girls who look like me. I said my husband tells me I look Jewish, and he said, well, the longer you're Jewish, the more you'll look it! He said he was on a cruise over Christmas and there was a rabbi who led candle-lighting ceremonies, and there were 1,500 people at the candle lighting, standing room only, and the cruise directors didn't know what to do! There were Christmas activities that no one went to. I asked about his kids, one who is a sophomore in college and a very mature 19, and the other who is a hellion 15-year-old beer-guzzling cheerleader.

So, we went on to discussing what to do about my eyes. I said I knew he had mentioned the full-time contacts with reading glasses option, but that my contacts bothered my eyes sometimes. He said, yes, but those contacts were part-time-wear contacts and there is a new type of contact with silicone in it that increases oxygen permeability from a rating of 18 to a rating of 130. He gave me a pair... and they feel great, at least they did until I got here and took them out (I don't have the new reading glasses yet, and they're replacing the left lens on my old glasses, so I'll be blind from farther than 10 feet or so until tomorrow). I will use the contact case that my brother has always used, that also looks like a little miniature torture device, because the solution is actually peroxide, and the case has to have a vent to let out the oxygen while the peroxide bubbles. I asked about laser vision correction and he said it wouldn't work for me, since I'd still have to wear reading glasses. I guess that crosses and interesting but scary option off the list.

The girl who helped me pick out my new frames and price out the whole deal told me my boots were "hot." "I didn't want to say that in front of Doctor, but they are." My VSP insurance helped get all of my costs, including a year's worth of contacts, new frames with lenses and all the upgrades, a new lens in my old glasses, and the exam and optional tests for about $400. And that doesn't include the $80 rebate I'll be sending in when I get my contacts. Awesome.

So, now I will be a full-time contact wearer, with reading glasses. I guess that's what happens when you sit in front of a computer reading ALL DAY. I had been getting sick of wearing my glasses on my head when I worked. And I'll still be able to fall back on the old pair of glasses if I don't want to wear contacts. All is well with the world of my eyes.